The sin of gossip

The Sin of Gossip

God created man as a social being. For the most part, people do not like to be alone. As a rule, we like to be with other people and we like to talk to other people. The ability to communicate brings some great blessings to mankind, but the devil also uses human communication as a means of spreading sin and grief. We are all painfully aware of the damage that can be caused by our words.
The Bible addresses the dangers posed by the tongue. James says man’s tongue is a fire and an unruly evil that is full of deadly poison (James 3:6, . Of all the sins that can be committed with the tongue, there is one that is especially a problem for some Christians – the sin of gossip.
The word “gossip” is defined as “a person who chatters or repeats idle talk and rumors, especially about the private affairs of others” (Webster’s Dictionary 604). Thus gossip is idle talk and rumors about the private affairs of others. Closely related to gossip is the word “slander” which means “the utterance in the presence of another person of a false statement or statements, damaging to a third person’s character or reputation” (Webster’s Dictionary 1337). The Bible also uses the words “talebearer” and “whisperer.” 
Like any other sin that brings one satisfaction and pleasure, gossip can be addictive to some people. Paul warned Timothy and Titus of the danger of some women becoming gossips and busybodies (1 Tim. 5:13; Titus 2:3). While women are specifically mentioned in these passages, we all know that men can be equally guilty of this sin.
A problem with the sin of gossip is not to be accepted, excused, or overlooked. Like all other sins, one who has a problem with gossip must work hard to overcome this sin.
The Damage Caused By Gossip
Gossip is not a harmless habit. The Bible warns of the damage that can be caused by gossip, slander, whispering, and talebearing.
1. Reveals Secrets. “He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy conceals a matter” (Prov. 11:13, NASV). Notice some things about this verse. First, a talebearer is one who “goes about” looking to dispense his tales. There is nothing accidental about gossip or slander. It is a purposeful effort to harm another person. Second, in this passage, the talebearer is portrayed as one who has violated a trust. He has been trusted with a secret, the contents of which can damage an individual, and has chosen to violate this trust in order to enjoy the pleasure of spreading gossip. Such a violation can damage a friendship beyond repair (Prov. 18:19). A good man will honor a friend’s confidence and protect a friend’s reputation.
2. Kindles Strife. “Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases. As charcoal is to burning coals, and wood to fire, so is a contentious man to kindle strife” (Prov. 26:20-21). A talebearer is one who tells stories that ought not to be told. The purpose of these stories is not to inform and forewarn men, but to kindles strife for the amusement of the talebearer. God pronounced His hatred upon those who purposely sow strife among their brethren (Prov. 6:16-19). Christians are to be peacemakers, not troublemakers (Matt. 5:9; Heb. 12:14).
3. Separates Friends. “An ungodly man digs up evil, and it is on his lips like a burning fire. A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends” (Prov. 16:27-28). Gossip, talebearing, and whispering are the tools used by one who is intent upon causing trouble. He digs up dirt on people, whispers it to a few individuals, and then watches the destruction spread like fire. False tales and revealed secrets can turn people against one another. The damage caused by gossip is so harsh that it can even destroy the closest of friendships.
4. Brings Anger. “The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue an angry countenance” (Prov. 25:23). A backbiter is one who does not have the courage to challenge a person to their face. Instead of meeting them face to face in honest discussion or debate, they will spread lies and rumors behind their back. When these efforts are discovered, the injured party will often respond in anger. Uncontrolled anger and outbursts of wrath stir up strife and transgression (Prov. 29:22).
The King James Version renders Proverbs 25:23 as “The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.” This is the opposite of the rendering in newer translations. While the meaning is opposite, it still states a truth. A talebearer is looking to peddle his wares. Meeting a slanderer and backbiter with indignation rather than acceptance will often “drive” them away. Indeed, “where there is no wood, the fire goes out…” (Prov. 26:20). Gossips and backbiters would not be in business if people were not so willing to consume their product.
5. Shows One To Be A Fool. The involvement in any sin committed with our words indicates to others that we are a fool. “He who restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is counted prudent” (Prov. 17:27-28, NASV). While a whisperer may try to hide his identity, he will eventually be exposed for what he is – a fool!
How To Overcome the Sin of Gossip
Gossip is not a harmless habit. Gossip is a sin that causes untold amounts of damage. A desire to engage in gossip should not be excused by saying “this is just the way I am,” or rationalized by claiming that we are doing people a favor by informing them and warning them about others. Like all other sins, the Christian must strive to overcome the temptation to engage in gossip.
Gossip can be overcome through the practice of self-control: keeping our mouth closed, removing ourselves from the “grapevine,” and learning to find joy in something other than being a talebearer. We would do good to ask the following questions before we repeat something.
1. Is it true? If it is not true, it is a lie. Slander, by definition, is telling something that is not true. A Christian is not to have anything to do with spreading a lie.
“He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him... The first one to plead his cause seems right, until his neighbor comes and examines him” (Prov. 18:13, 17). It is easy to draw an inaccurate conclusion when we only hear one side of the story. We would save ourselves some embarrassment, and others some grief, if we would take the time to get all the facts before we act upon or repeat a matter.
2. Is it going to build up or tear down? “Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another” (Rom. 14:19). Gossip and slander bring anger, contention, and strife. The tools of a talebearer will never contribute to peace and edification among brethren. We are to pursue the things that build up our brethren, not tear them down. Our words have great power for good and for evil.
Sometimes negative things need to be said about others; people need to be warned, and important lessons can be learned from negative examples. However, great care and wisdom need to be exercised when talking to someone about the misdeeds of another person.
3. Have I talked to them first? “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother” (Matt. 18:15). Private matters need to remain private. The problem is that when we are sinned against, we usually want to talk to everyone except the one person that the Lord has told us to talk to. This is how gossip gets started, and it could have been avoided if we would have followed the Lord’s instructions.
Sometimes malicious gossip can be stopped if we will take the reports to the person who is the subject of the gossip. The talebearer rarely wants someone to investigate the facts regarding his story. He simply wants it to be believed and spread to others. If we care enough to spread a story, should we not care enough to get the facts straight first? If talebearers know that you will “call them” on their facts, they will stop coming to you with gossip.
4. Have I examined myself? Jesus shows us the wisdom of examining ourselves before we get involved in the affairs of others (Matt. 7:3-5). Only a hypocrite will spread stories about the faults of others while displaying greater faults in his own life. We need to clean up our own house before we try to clean up someone else’s house.
5. Why am I really wanting to do this? What is motivating me to tell this to someone else? Am I trying to achieve good, or am I getting some pleasure out of repeating this matter? The truth is that some people engage in gossip simply because they enjoy it. “The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body” (Prov. 18:8, c.f. 26:22).
Some people act as if they have no choice but to repeat a matter. This simply is not true. “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends” (Prov. 17:9). We are not to ignore sin, but if we love the person and want what is best for them, we will conceal the matter from public view and spare our loved one much embarrassment. If we love the pleasure of gossip, we will repeat the matter and watch the destruction that follows.
6. Is this what I would want done to me? “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” (Matt. 7:12). I would not want people spreading lies and rumors about me, nor would I want friends to betray my trust and advertise my secret struggles and transgressions before others. If I do not want others doing this to me, I must not do it to others. If I mistreat others in the way I talk about them, I can expect others to do the same thing to me.
Conclusion
Gossip is a sin which seeks to destroy another person for our own selfish pleasure. It has always been unfitting for a child of God to be involved in such an activity. “You shall not go about as a talebearer among your people…” (Lev. 19:16). If we find that we have a problem with the sin of gossip, we should not overlook it or seek to excuse it, but work hard to overcome it and become a Christian whose words are both pleasing to God and a constant source of encouragement to others.